THE MISSUS

Chorus:
Oh the wife she gets right vicious
If I don't do the dishes
And when I comes home late at night
Oh man, she gets suspicious
I knows I shouldn't talk like this
About me lovely missus
My son if she gets wind of this
She'll pound me with her fist-es!

She sits home watching hockey
Drinking all me jockey
Building up her muscles 
Looking broad and stocky
She used to be so pretty
But now she looks like Rocky
And I can't say a word to her
She got a black belt in Karate!

Chorus:
Oh the wife she gets right vicious
If I don't do the dishes
And when I comes home late at night
Oh man, she gets suspicious
I knows I shouldn't talk like this
About me lovely missus
My son if she gets wind of this
She'll pound me with her fist-es!

She's always at the bingo
Talking lotto lingo
She's always gone on dart nights
She says she likes to mingle
She daily buys her liquor
But says that she don't drink though (no)
The way she eats, she don't get time
She's like the horse, by jingle!

Chorus:
Oh the wife she gets right vicious
If I don't do the dishes
And when I comes home late at night
Oh man, she gets suspicious
I knows I shouldn't talk like this
About me lovely missus
My son if she gets wind of this
She'll pound me with her fist-es!

Oh I got me a wife, she's the love of me life
And I'm hoping something might hurt her
Something big like a truck or a train
But they'd likely call that murder
I'm typing out her husband's will
I'm hoping she won't catch me
Cause she'd liberate me all right
Take me head clean off me body!
Chorus:
Oh the wife she gets right vicious
If I don't do the dishes
And when I comes home late at night
Oh man, she gets suspicious
I knows I shouldn't talk like this
About me lovely missus
My son if she gets wind of this
She'll pound me with her fist-es!

Drop kick me in the chest-us
That's as lovely as the witches
I'm talking about my missus!