CHAINSAW EARLE

He was skinny as a rake like two by four 
Ugly as sin born premature 
Mother had trouble trying to take 
To a kid that looked like a garden rake 
Our sons are sons and Dad wasn't proud 
Didn't make him feel like one of the crowd 
Wood cuttin boys from up in the sticks 
Laughed at the sight of Earle

(SPOKEN)
"Wimp!"

He was treated like scum and he felt like dirt 
Couldn't lift the chainsaw 
Make it work 
Father often said that he didn't have a clue 
Mother didn't feed him and he hardly grew

(SPOKEN)
"I'm hungry! I'm hungry!" 

So Earle disappeared for fifteen years 
Father didn't miss him and his mother didn't care 
After awhile they forgot about Earle 
And his girlfriend said, "Who cares?"

Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned, Earle
Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned, Earle
Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned, Earle

In this little town life went on the same 
Til one hot July and no rain came 
Great big fire set the country ablaze 
And everyone cuttin fire breaks
 
Ah they sawed and they sawed but they couldn't outrun 
The smoky fumes and the fiery tongs 
They were loosing fast 
It was lookin bad 
Who would save their town? 

(SPOKEN)
"Save me! Save me!"

And nobody knew neither phone or friend 
That Earle had grown to seven foot ten 
Arm like cupboards
Legs like trees 
Fists like hammers 
And hairy knees 

(SPOKEN)
"Shave me! Shave me!"
 
Far off in the woods above the din and the roar 
Came a sound nobody had heard before 
Trees were fallen like a tidal wave to a monster Johnson red chain saw 

Chain, chain, chain saw Earle
Chain, chain, chain saw Earle
Chain, chain, chain saw Earle

His cutter bar was ten foot two 
Turn the air all purple and blue 
Tasmania devil in twenty minutes flat 
Made the landscape look just like Iraq 

With the trees all limbed and the fire break made 
The town folks saved from a charcoal grave 
People gathered 
Shouted and cheered, 
"Hurray for this force disposal unit."

Lightin' up a smoke he laid the chainsaw down 
Said, "I'm the guy who saved your town." 
Then Earle knocked over a drum of gas 
Just as he threw away his match. 
All the gas exploded and the town burned flat 
And Earle ran off just like a scalded cat 
"It's been fifteen years", his father said. 
"And he's still as stunned as me arse!"

Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse
Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse
Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse, was Earle.